Shipping within the UK is FREE on orders over £20.
Orders under that amount are charged the paltry sum of £2 and then we bung in a humour card to cover that cost - subject to us remembering!
Orders are shipped the day that they are received, or the following morning if the order is placed in the late afternoon or evening.
Orders placed over a weekend are shipped on Monday mornings.
Select our express option for next day delivery. There is no option for Saturday delivery - so an express order placed on a Friday will be delivered on the following Monday.
This is charged at a flat rate of £6.99
Recycled packaging.
We will sometimes recycle previously used packaging materials.
We do this to keep the shipping costs as low as possible and to save lots of baby whales.
NON-UK BUYERS
Sending things abroad can be very expensive.
In order to give the fairest carriage cost we weighed every single item in stock, painstakingly added it to some clever part of the website and crossed our fingers. Consequently the correct cost will be added at the checkout once you have filled in the shipping address. We realise that it's a pain in the #### to fill in forms before finding out the carriage costs but it has been done to keep the postage costs as low as possible.
Sometimes we are able to improve our shipping prices, and if we can we will do so and pass the saving back to you. This happens most often when you are purchasing several items, so if you want more than one thing just drop us an email us to see if we can help.
The maximum we can ship is 2kg If your order is heavier than this we will email you to advise you of the cost or that we cannot ship your order.
PLEASE NOTE:
The US dollar is not the only currency in the world.
The £ sign represents the British Pound, aka GBP, Sterling.
The UK is not an abbreviation for a state within the USA. It certainly does not stand for Yukon.
As a purchaser it is your responsibility to work out what your own national currency will buy you.
We are more than happy to help, but the time to ask is BEFORE the transaction is completed and the goods are despatched.
We refer to http://www.xe.com/ for currency conversions. It's remarkably simple to use.
Smutty Gifts stock a huge range of silly and saucy adult novelty gifts for all occasions. We've got Secret Santa covered with a huge choice of perfect rude Christmas presents. Willy shaped things aplenty for Hen Night Parties including Willy Balloons. Inflatable Sheep and After Curry Wipes for Stag Night Parties. Saucy aprons, including the infamous Sheepshagger Apron. Indulge your toilet humour with Farting Gifts. Smoking and Drinking Gifts. Naughty Nibbles and Rude Food, Chocolate Willies and Nipples, Chocolate Body Paint and After Sex Mints. Have fun in the bedroom with PVC Whips, Eye masks and fun dressing up costumes. Wild and Wet frolics in the bathroom with Sperm Shower Gel, Willy Shaped Gel Dispensers and Willy Soap on a Rope. Rude Mugs, Offensive Fridge Magnets, Naughty Novelty Metal Signs and Novelty Vibrators. Sexy Bedroom Games, Saucy Books, Raunchy Gift wrap. Blow Job Vouchers, Sex Cheques, Sex Coupons, Sexual Fantasy Vouchers.
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